The world often sucks but God is forever good

Today was just one of those days; you know the days I'm talking about: the ones where you think you really shouldn't have got out of bed.

The day starts off with expectation.. not the expectation of anything special, but the expectation of something to make life with your chronic illness just a little easier. You're not asking for a handout, but acknowledgement of the fact that you are trying to &  constantly accomplishing things far beyond your reach... You wait...but nothing comes.... You fight anyway, because you are determined to finish. You fight because you are determined to see your dreams come to life, even with the fifty sumo wrestlers sitting on your head & pain in every fibre of your being.. You fight. And you win. You look around but the world hasn't even stopped to notice.. Nobody seems to care.

On to the next dream.. You wait...You expect.. Once again, nothing happens..You fight, You win.... and on it goes... One by one, the weight of those sumo wrestlers & the pain grows.. until it's too much, until it shoves you to the ground and pummels you bit by bit. You try.. You wait.. You expect.. Nothing happens.. You have no fight left.

Today was one of those days. I was promised extra writing time on an exam. Five minutes before the exam started, they denied it to me. I looked across the room and my heart broke. There were others there - those with broken legs and all.. Of course, they deserved to be there, but so did I. Is not my pain counted as even comparable with a broken leg? Surely, it is ten times ten worse...There was nothing I could do. The pain and fatigue had been so high that I couldn't study much and sitting in the exam, I knew if something did not change, I was most definitely going to fail.. In fact, there was little point in sitting the exam at all. All that was left to do was cry.

Instead, I lifted my eyes to the One who can help & said if you want, please take away a little of this fatigue and pain to pass this exam. If not, I will surely fail. Just a little, please. What did God do? A million times more than that... Where everyone else had let me down, I kid you not, I barely had to wait a minute before he lifted almost 50% of the fatigue for a full half of the exam period. He helped me think; He helped me ignore unimaginable pain levels; He said there by my side, each minute. There were so many questions I hadn't even studied for because my brain fog stopped me from understanding anything but God's bigger than that.. How could tax law stand against its maker and mine, God! If you have fibromyalgia, I know you understand just how I was feeling and the impact of what God did for me. As I walked away, after it was over, my eyes welled up with tears of thankfulness (& pain as it grew each minute)...God said: When everyone fails in the 20% they promise you, I'll do for you 100% more than you can possibly imagine, expect or ask for. 

Truly, I know I said it once before this week already, but - If God is for us, who can stand against us? What can stand against us? Nothing! Not fibro! Not even unfair discrimination / lack of support.. Nothing! 

The world often sucks..... but God is forever good.