Fibro Myth #5: You don't look sick, so you must be feeling better

Just because you can't necessarily see our illness on our faces at first glance does not mean that we are not sick. Our illness may be invisible to you, but we are not. And our suffering certainly is not.

If you are chronically ill and have been so for a year or more, chances are you've heard atleast five people - doctors, friends, colleagues or family - say that you don't look sick. They might say something like, "I can tell by looking at you today that you are well". You've probably felt the sting of comments such as those.. Let me tell you it hurts.

Really, could you imagine saying that to someone who's just been diagnosed with cancer or a tumour? Or to someone who's torn a ligament in their leg? Definitely no!

The only way to stop or prevent these hurtful comments is to spread awareness. We need to tell our friends and family that those comments are hurtful. We need to share about how fibromyalgia works and how we can be in imaginable pain, while still not looking it.

A friend of mine wrote the following, which you might find helpful to share with friends/family:

• You can't see that it is taking every ounce of physical and mental energy to keep it together as my pain levels are overwhelmingly high. You WILL see me concentrating hard, sweating and getting exhausted quickly. 
• You can't see that I am battling migraines. You WILL see me take a sick day, reach for my medications constantly or massage my temples to ease the pain. 
• You can't see me getting lightheaded or dizzy whilst walking on stairs or taking steps. You WILL see me not walking in a straight line, touching my head and looking disorientated. 
• You can't see the pain, bloating and uncomfortableness from my irritable bowel issues. You WILL see me eating less, not enjoying eating and using the toilet often. 
• You can't see that I am in agony/ crisis pain levels. You WILL see me grimace as I carry my laptop, walk slowly and wish for the end of the day to come sooner. 
• You can't see my fatigue. You WILL see me drinking cups of tea, lots of water, taking breaks and holding my head.
• You can't see that I am panicking because the light and noise in the room is giving me sensory overload leading to a migraine. You WILL see me close my eyes, doing a mental calming exercise and not being attentive to everything that is going on around me. 
• You can't see my feelings of isolation or loneliness. You WILL notice that you don't hang out with me as much. 

May 12th has been designated as Fibromyalgia/CFS/ME & Other Invisible Illnesses Awareness Day, in honour of the famous nurse, Florence Nightingale. She was born May 12th 1820. What is not often known, is that she had a long term, debiliating illness, Brucellosis aka Crimean fever, brought on from contaminated wheat or milk, which caused chronic muscular pain. She knew intimately what living with chronic pain was like. Please get along side this day and share with those around you, every chance you get, about life with chronic illness.

For those who may have made these comments to people with chronic illness, let me let you in on a truth: Spend a day with your chronically ill friend & I guarantee you will be shocked at how much pain they have to deal with, amazed that you never saw it before, and bewildered by how your friend manages to do all that he/she does with this kind of daily pain.