Ouch...Those Words Sting

Do you ever find yourself being the recipient of a wide array of never-ending unhelpful comments by those around you? Like any problem, illness can result in everyone and anyone offering you their five step program for you to get better, from vitamin supplements to foods to random chants. Some of them are helpful & some of them are plain weird. Usually, they're well meaning but somehow end up actually being hurtful, hearing other people claim to be the expert on your brand of suffering without ever going through it themselves. To claim to even know more than you have learnt from your struggles. This is really tough to deal with.

Source: FibroTV

The Bible also tells us that words can affect us - "Kind words are good medicine, but deceitful words can really hurt." (Proverbs 15:4, CEV). 

So, what can you do if you're hearing lots of these words?
Well, personally I think there are three things to do:
1. Without raising your voice too much, explain clearly that it is not helpful for you to hear that. That your illness is different and through all your research and experience, you have actually found that this is not useful or that something you currently do is better.
2. At your earliest opportunity, go have a bit of a cry with God. Express your frustration to him & grieve for how those comments have made you feel. This way, it does not have the chance to grow into bitterness in your heart.
3. Resolve to be careful with the way you use your words and ask God to help your words be ones that help & not hurt.

So, what can you do if you are a healthy person seeking to help or encourage a chronically ill person?
1. Be upfront about your lack of experience with the subject. Acknowledge that you don't really know all the answers.
2. Listen to your chronically ill friend or family member. Let them voice their hurts & pain.
3. If after this, you still have advice that might help, start by saying something like this: I'm no expert about your pain and I don't know if this will help but do you think ".........." might help?
4. Give your chronically ill friend or family member a hug. Sometimes, there are no answers but it's nice to know that someone cares. On a more biological note, physical touch, eg. hug, might help release chemicals in the brain, causing the person's parasympathetic nervous system to calm a little, releasing chemicals that give us that feeling of comfort.