Listen to your body..

Ever walk through a really busy street or stand in a really busy train? With people shoving you left, right and centre; where you feel like you're moving at snail pace or moving backwards against the tide? When all your effort doesn't result in you getting anyway except hurt by the people pushing you aside as they bustle around?

Ever feel invisible and ignored amongst a crowd; that though you are screaming for help and love, no one around you appears to hear or notice you? 

This is how your body feels when you push through to keep doing things. It feels ignored. It sends out tired and pain signals to alert you to the fact that it is in distress. If still unheard, it causes you to crash, in hopes you'll learn to rest and take care of yourself better next time.

If you talk to anyone who's successfully managing their fibro or chronic illness and ask them about their life pre-illness, they will almost certainly tell you that they've learnt to slow down over the years. They've learnt to pace themselves and not deplete all their energy stores overnight. They've learnt to listen to their body and hear it screaming for help.

Do you?

If not, perhaps now is the time to start. How about doing something simply for your body today? Get a massage or have a long luxurious bubble bath. Ask someone for a soft hug. Let yourself cry if you're feeling down or have a laugh otherwise. 


Trust me. It will make a difference. Even if you're not chronically ill, start today. Your body WILL thank you. 

   

How many spoons do you have today?

I found this really lovely diagram (see below) on a fellow fibro sufferer's twitter page to help you explain The Spoon Theory to your family and friends:
Here's how it goes: You hand over to your friend a limited number of spoons (eg. 20) and say, "There you go, You now have fibromyalgia/a chronic illness." 

(c) Chronic Hope

Explain that the difference between being chronically ill and healthy is that you have to make choices and consciously think about what things you can do, and what you can't, even though you want to. 


Most people start their days with unlimited energy and possibilities to do what ever they desire. By and large, they don't have to worry about the effects of their actions. But we start the day with a limited number of 'spoons'.


Ask your friend to count their spoons, because having a chronic illness means you need to plan your day; you need to know exactly how many 'spoons' you begin the day with. Then, list all the things your friend does in a day, from normal tasks, like brushing your teeth, to fun things like going out for dinner. 


Explain how each thing they do costs them a spoon. 
For eg) getting out a bed, when you are sore & exhausted because you didn't sleep last night costs you two spoons.  Brushing your teeth and taking a shower each costs you a spoon. Walking to the car costs you another. Catching the train at peak hour costs you two spoons. Having a meeting at work costs you a spoon while enjoying a lunch with three girlfriends might cost you three spoons. Catching the train back home, whilst standing during peak hour, costs you three spoons. Carrying your work laptop home might cost you one spoon. Making yourself some instant dinner might cost you one spoon. Dealing with your high pain levels for the whole day will probably cost you three spoons. Remembering to take your medication during the day will probably cost you another spoon.... and before you know it, you're empty. There's no spoons left. You haven't got a spoon to talk to your family, or one to get ready for bed or another to fall asleep. So you borrow three of tomorrow's spoons. Only now, you have only 17 spoons to get through tomorrow with. 

A couple of days, weeks, or years like this will quickly teach you that you just can't spend your spoons willy-nilly. You need to evaluate each day & think carefully on how you are going to spend your spoons. For instance, in the above case, you might have to cancel your lunch with three friends, so that you have enough spoons (ie. energy) to make it to bed that night. 
Believe it or not, even spending time with God or reading the bible or hugging someone takes spoons. 


For those of you currently struggling with chronic illness, I hope this is a helpful way for you to think about your day and how to survive through it. If you are someone seeking to support a chronic illness sufferer, I hope this has been a helpful glimpse into what's it like to live with chronic illness. 


One of the best parts of this theory, is that it is not just for fibromyalgia or for lupus (that was what it was originally written for). I think it's a helpful explanation for anyone struggling with chronic illness. 


So, how many spoons do you have today? 


For a more detailed explanation of the Spoon Theory, click here. Refer to my previous blog post (here) for other helpful links to explaining and learning about fibromyalgia. 

Stop & Smell the Roses

For the past few days, I've felt horrendous; Like two giant sumo wrestlers have made my body their enemy and are relentlessly punching the life out of me. I try to stand up & move, only to be thrashed back down again & almost punished for the previous effort. I call this "forced relaxation", when my body refuses to accept anything but total and complete rest, regardless of the pressures & deadlines to come. I hate this feeling, because I feel rotten and helpless & mostly because there is nothing I can do to make myself feel even a little better.

People say, you need to stop & smell the roses. I feel like our generation needs to hear that message more so than others before us, because we never stop. Life feels like one race after another, except none of us really know what we are racing towards, what the prize is or how long it will take. Dealing with fibromyalgia & the forced relaxation periods is hard; it is counter cultural. I feel like everyone else is an Energiser bunny, buzzing around from task to task, but I feel like the other bunny, who doesn't even make it half way before depleting itself & shutting down.

At this time, I think that it is important to stop & consider what it is drives these feelings of incompetence & abandonment. What is everyone else really running after? Friends, we know that this life is not about how many things we acquire, how many accolades we collect or how many people praise us. This life is about living in relationship with God & bringing Him glory. God doesn't want us to just run our races, without considering to take care of ourselves along the way.

In Genesis, when creation was perfect, God took the seventh day as a day of rest, to reflect on all the good things He had made. Rest was always meant to be part of this world. And it is all the more important for us. We are only human and our bodies require rest to recharge, to heal & to re-energise. We are not everlasting batteries, we need rest & we need time spent with our Creator to re-charge or else, we deplete.

Friends, the next time your illness or your circumstances force you to the ground and hold you there, consider this: If you are forced to stop, you may as well smell those roses while you're there.

Life is a race, but it is not those who reach the end quickest who are rewarded, but those who cling to the cross along the way. So friends, hold on & when you're done, keep holding; this ride is not over yet.